Penny Lane’s blog

I am enjoying the show "Friday Night Lights" immensely despite swearing I would never watch anything involving football and small towns that were too much like the one I grew up in. Nevertheless, I did watch it because of my best friend's recommendation and we are Netflix soulmates, among other things. 

I just finished watching Season 1 over the weekend, and I am in love with Matt Saracen. Ok, I know, it's probably really pathetic how I rave over fictional characters, but fiction is where all the good men seem to be these days. If I missed a boy like Matt in high school because I was too biased against football players, I would be truly sorry. That's not the case, however, as I all too clearly remember the players in my school. Still, there must be a Matt-like gem out there in some part of the world, right? A girl can always hope.

I'm job hunting again within the same organization only I can't stand what I'm doing right now. I'm crossing my fingers in hopes I will get this new position because I really need to get out of my slump. I've been so stressed, exhausted, and unhappy lately.

But, I'm excited about this new job that I've applied for! I think it suits my temperament much better. It also gives me more time to myself and being able to pursue things that dropped off because work overtook my life. I look forward to taking up dancing again, painting, and re-energizing my creative side in general.

Total nonsequitur, but I came across something unsettling yesterday--ok, it was really me googlestalking someone--but I found out something about this person who I loved once and it just made me so sad. The universe is telling me that I am not the one. But how can I still feel this way years after he has left? Why does my heart have to  be so stubbornly fixated on him? I've never found anyone who made me feel the way I did when I was with him. And I'm telling you, it has been seven years now.  Seven. That's a long time to be alone. It's not that I mind being single. I don't mind at all. But I do worry that I haven't found anyone who's even slightly peaked my interest. I worry because down the road I do want to share my life with someone, despite not wanting to marry. Deep down, I am a romantic. I've never managed to completely rid myself of hope and idealism about love even though I know better. I may come off as a cynic, but it's all show. Heart, it's time to replace him.

What are five words you really like? 
Submitted by purplesque.

The five words I really like are incorrigible, persnickety, sassy, surreptitious, and poignant; I like them for either their meaning or because they're just fun words to say. Incorrigible also brings to mind a movie reference that I am very  attached to, which explains why I like it so much.  

You paid homage to that old cardinal rule:
Want what you can't have,
yet never play the besotted fool.
You made it so you could get through
never getting close to anyone new.

Oh, this is bad. I shouldn't be up so late seeing how I have to get up at 6:30 in the morning, but my biological clock is permanently confused. I've taken to crashing on the weekends, in order to continue being the Energizer bunny during the workweek, but I know it's not something I want to do for much longer, particularly since it's not very conducive to having an active social life...It's really stupid that I didn't go out this weekend. I totally wasted my two days.

I was watching Serenity the other day, and it brought back fun memories of the show. Why on earth are my favorite shows always getting canceled?? I guess it has to do with the fact that they're actually worth watching and Nielsen people generally don't like that about tv programs, apparently.

I am in a morose mood today. I'm missing my friends a lot. In particular, I miss Jess, who has been in China since July or August, and I rarely get a chance to talk to her. I also miss my gals Audrey and Anna, who are on the west coast. And I miss Beki and Kathi, and Jess M. It's silly that I haven't spoken to Jess M., who is here in Baltimore. Why haven't I just called her already? I don't know.

I am slightly perturbed as to what I should do about this potential situation. I met a great guy last weekend (isn't it how  this kind of story always starts off?) and we seemed to hit it off pretty well. The funny thing is, he's someone I've met before, but who I didn't get to know very well at the time. He also happens to be a friend of a friend, which is another odd coincidental detail. The whole situation is a bit strange, really.

Show us a book you wish you had written.

I Capture the Castle

Dodie Smith

****HP Spoilers*****

"Potterwatch"

I feel disappointed after opening at the close.
My Love for Sirius never abates,
while Anger festers and snarls at Snape.

Rowling whitewashes Snivellus,
laying his claims to sainthood.
Yet everyone knows his sins
and how he covets more than
the Order of Merlin.

She allows Harry to forget
the best of the best,
going so far
as naming his son Severus
over those who loved him
instead of his quest.

But this reader vows to remember
the true heroes of this tale,

long after they disappear

beyond the pale.

What was your worst hairstyle decision ever?

     Que horror! Hmmm. Many, many bad hair stories to go through.... I guess my absolute worst hairstyle decision would have to be trying the ultra cool Amelie look at eighth grade and thinking I could pull it off. Ha! I couldn't.

Mad Girl’s Love Song: Variations on a Theme

(inspired by Sylvia Plath’s poem)

You kissed me
and the world went spinning.

I held my breath.
You vanished.
(I think I made you up inside my head)

You took me to bed.
I was high and elated.

I opened my eyes.
You vanished.

(I think I made you up inside my head)